中美家庭子女教育比较
05-26, 2014
I. Introduction
Family education is the foundation of the whole school and society education. The family is the first school where children are being educated. It plays an essential role in the cultivation of his or her good habits and characteristics in the future and the development of the intelligence. Parents are the first teachers, also, irreplaceable life-long teachers, for their children. As a result, family education counts heavily in the healthy growth of children.
People from all walks of life have been discussing the diversities of China and the United States which are reflected in many aspects. The dissimilarities in cultural traditions, ideologies, life styles and social customs of the two countries lead to lots of differences concerning family education. Parents often do all they can to teach their children, though, there are some problems. The proper recognition and comprehension of these differences of the two countries are of practical significance for promoting the healthy growth of children and improving the qualities of the future talents.
II. Distinctions between China and the United States in Family Education
There are a lot of differences concerning family education between China and US which have been gradually recognized.
2.1 The Differences of the Family Relationship
The traditional ideology always has an impact over the Chinese family education. One of the manifestations is that the relationships between Chinese parents and children are unequal. As rulers, parents, just like the kings in the palace, who are in the position of core in the family, always mean authorities. In their mind, their children will be what they are forever. Even if children grow up, parents’ guidance remains. By Chinese logic, the elder in a family can instruct the younger, that is, “The Elders Are always Teachers”, which forms the unequal personal relationship inside the family. Children know that their parents are above anything else in that the parents are in a commanding position over them which is literally called patriarchy. Exposed to such a circumstance, children get accustomed to living under the multiple rules. And under this circumstance, the inequitable family relationships are shaped. The relationship between the elder and the younger is arbitrary and it means a kind of extreme family relationship.
With the improvement of people’s material life, however, many families go to another extreme, that is, children become the core of the family and are protected with priority. As the only child of a small family, he or she is regarded as the “ruler” or “little king” in the family. Parents give all their love to their child and are always compliant with him or her. They do everything that should be done by their child and let the child enjoy all the good. They over-satisfy the child with anything he or she wants, offer him or her preferential treatment economically and all these cause another kind of inequality of the family relationship.#p#分页标题#e#
On the contrary, American parents pay more attention to getting along with their children freely and equally. Children need to respect their parents, and parents also show their respect to them. They can call their parents’ names at will just as they do the same to their friends. American families attach more importance to giving children individual decision-making power. Children are treated equally as an independent individual and are granted appropriate respect and understanding. Parents won’t step on the private space of their children without their permission, not to say involve something like diaries and letters which belong to privacy. Children are encouraged to air their opinions freely before the parents and be part of the family policy-making plan. Americans give the young much freedom as they want their children to be independent and self-restrained. Generally speaking, family relationships in America are equal. While the unequal relationship between Chinese parents and children will affect the growth of the latter, American parents and children are like friends.
2.2 The Difference of Family Education Mode
Different ideologies inevitably lead to different education patterns. In China, children belong to parents; Parents’ responsibilities of taking care of children are limitless. From the birth to the adulthood, parents almost do all the jobs: cooking, laundries, room cleaning, accompany in study, and they even sacrifice their weekends. Quite a few parents impose restrictions on their children’s contact with the outside world because they worry that their children suffer losses or follow bad examples. Once their children have an argument or something unpleasant with other friends or classmates, most of parents adopt the method by shielding their own children and criticizing other kids. Many parents do everything that their children require; even some living under difficult circumstances will save money to satisfy their kids. They are only too glad to do all this as they hope their children have a bright future.
Compared with allowing their children too much connivance on life, money, social contact, parents demand much on study, even to the severe extent. In their view, children’s examination results and admission to a good university is the only criterion of being successful. Once their expectation fails, only by beating and scolding their children can they give vent to their anger. It seems that parents always stand at the positive side, while all what children can do is to obey. As parents deem that their children know nothing, they do all staff which should have been done by their children—i.e. The study staffs, parents tell their children what and when to learn, once the kids refuse to obey the arrangements, they will be told to be “not good”. Chinese parents keep a close guard on their children at all times and think only a “docile” child is a good kid.
Quite the contrary, American parents proceed from building their children’s abilities to live an independent life. They assume limited responsibility for their children, so they won’t do all staff for their kids. Instead, children have to bear some household chores such as cleaning the house, washing their own clothes. They can earn money by doing a temporary job or working at home, in the latter case they will be paid by their parents. There are numerous examples in America that primary students are paper boys at the same time. They are encouraged to be independent and their ideas are respected. Parents try to offer their children opportunities and circumstances for self-training which let them make full development under various circumstances. In addition to taking care of the safety of children, other life stuffs like games and study are up to themselves. Many families in America formulate strict requirements and regulations about children’s pocket money. The basic principle is giving that money periodically and the amount is in line with the age of the kid and actual situation of the family income. Parents attach much importance to cultivating the hardiness of their children. The westerners never take a laissez-faire attitude toward children’s weaknesses and faults, not to say make excuses for them. Actually, they attempt to let their children be aware of them and correct them. Basically, encouragement and praise are the core part of the American education whose purpose is to let children feel confident and independent in the growing process. They are courageous enough to ask questions and create with a sense of fulfillment.#p#分页标题#e#
In America, parents regard their children as the same as adults—they are granted rights, their personalities are respected and they are treated equally. Freedom is given without coercion or hard restrictions; instead, there exist more encouragement, inspiration and guidance. They do whatever they can to provide more opportunities for the free development of children’s intellect—let growing children explore their own life roads, let developing children tap their individual potentials and cultivate their own habits. They can do anything they want, and during this process of learning and doing, they will become citizens with a sense of responsibility by strengthening their sense of responsibility for the society and learning to control themselves.
2.3 The Differences of Goals of Family Education
Chinese parents hope their children could be more successful than themselves and they make efforts for this. They wish that their children are genius from the birth and are always the No.1. Chinese-style family education focuses on whether the children have promising future and find a good job. If parents are able to create the most favorable conditions for their children, they will do everything. To reach this goal, during the growing process, parents let their children do nothing except study so that they take little consideration about their children’s ability of living independently, adaptability to their future life and awareness of the obligations of a citizen. All the thought on their mind is that good examination results resolve all problems. There is nothing to say about independent ability of this kind of education.
Chinese parents keep their eyes on their children’s examination results. Therefore, they deem more study means more benefit in the future. As they only value examination results, high-marks mean excellence while low-mark winners suffer loss of rapprochement and are left out in the cold. They hang all their hopes on the next generation. Consequently, their expectations bear down on their children. Parents are extremely concerned about their children’s future employment and life. For the purpose of ensuring their children a bright future, Chinese parents require them to study a strong suit such as piano, dancing, ping-pong. But they have no time to think whether it is what the children like to study. In cities, lots of parents engage a private tutor in the interest of promoting children’s study and tell them to work hard just for the admission to the ideal college instead of striving for their own ideal and goal.
Contrary to the goal of Chinese family education, American family education especially attach great importance to the ability cultivation—teach him the ability to adapt to the society and to live independently. On the basis of this idea, children’s self-training receives an adequate attention. Their awareness of being self-support and the ability of independent life are trained since they are little kids since it is generally believed that the growth of children must be dependent on themselves. Most youngsters over 18 earn money for their school education. According to the overseas students, when American children go home, their parents regularly ask them, “what did you think of today”, or “Do you have any question”. They keep eyes on the process children think and are involved in rather than examination results. While Chinese parents only pay attention to children’s examination results, while American parents pay more attention to the process of learning. Chinese parents only care about how much knowledge their children have remembered, American parents care about whether their children have involvement, thinking, and practice.#p#分页标题#e#
Ⅲ.The Cause of the Above-mentioned Elements
Each one who grows up in a particular cultural environment will be influenced completely by the traditional cultures and values.
3.1 Chinese Cultures and Values which Run Counter to Family Education
Generally speaking, many domineering aspects among the Cathy Civilization which have been formed in the course of history running for thousands of years are disadvantageous for the modern family education. During the long history, China used to be a feudal society. The imperial civil examination system is a typical example of that.
3.1.1 Long Cultural and Feudal System
China is proud of its long history lasting five thousand years. During many centuries, Chinese created brilliant cultures while its long isolation from the outside world lead to the strong national pride They deemed that most of their neighbors’ culture came from Chinese culture. They lived in a fertile land, which made them satisfied with everything and also made them almost have no motive to reform.
3.1.2 Traditional Confucian Doctrines
Since the Han Dynasty, as the Confucian teachings had gradually occupied the dominate position in the society, the fundamental contexts of the family education focused on etiquette. Loyalty, filial piety, moral integrity and righteousness are the basic requirements. The family education of the feudal society was gradually standardized and some famous writings specialized in the family education appeared such as the well-known Family Instruction of the Yans whose writer was the educator Yan Zhitui during the Northern and Southern Dynasties in the year of 420-589. He described the principles and modes of family education in each respect involving respecting the aged and loving the young, being an honest person, being industrious and frugal, studying hard. All these are of positive importance in today’s society. In the ancient societies, family was bound by marriage and blood-tie. That is, a family was a basic social unit combining material production, population production, education, entertainment, and defense. As a result, families played an important role in the social organization. Among the three cardinal guides (i.e. ruler guides subject, father guides son, and husband guides wife) that were advocated in the feudal society, two of them were realized through families. Consequently, family became a power system that was only second to the national political power and played an extreme significant role in the social development and the political activities. Just because of this reason, family education receives extraordinary concerns in our country. Considering deep-rooted influences, however, it also makes Chinese people stick to the old things and fail to innovate
In China, the Confucian behaviors have extremely broad influences and can not be replaced by any other culture and thoughts. They mean truth. Confucianism was a kind of philosophy with emphasis on peace. It offered national spirit of the society and maintained the superiority of the emperors in the history. The norm of etiquette it emphasized existed in all the social relationships, family relationships included. Even in modern times, it still occupies an irreplaceable position in Chinese mind. For thousands of years, it has made Chinese loyal mental disciples. As a result, Chinese are used to sticking to the traditional approaches and they are limited to yearn for the new.#p#分页标题#e#
3.1.3 The impact of Imperial Civil Examination System upon Family Education
Chinese have already been aware of the importance of education. More than 1400 years ago, there already existed the imperial civil examination system. The context changed according to the dynasties. The initial scope of the examination consisted of talent test and physical test. The candidates of the examination must grasp the classic regulations of the Confucian philosophy. Not to say the functions it had, however, apparently it had bad influences.
First of all, the examination limited the development of individuals. The candidates were enrolled just in the form of composition. Second, it set inadequate evaluation criterions. Only those who passed the defined examination could be considered as talented people. Consequently, the imperial civil examination system obstructed the emergence of the creative ability in China. Until now, these influences still exist to some extent in the Chinese family education:
1) Too much expectation from the parents and the great cost.
Expecting one's son to become an outstanding personage is a common attitude for Chinese parents, many parents hope their children can enter famous school and then they will have the chance to have advanced study. All parents think children’s excellence can bring honor to one's ancestors.
They paid great material cost and spiritual cost. Parents spent lots of money to get a tutor. The examination result is the barometer for the family relationship. Many disputes between couples are from the different attitude of education. Too much investment leads to too much expectation. If the children can not do well, the parents can not control their sentiments. Such unbalance will give bad influence on children’s psychology.
2) Judging by marks.
Putting marks as the only way to measure the performance of children is one of the most apparent mistakes in family education. Marks and abilities are not the same thing. Marks are only a part of intelligent level. Marks are also different from study ability, high scores and low abilities is the direct result of it. Many parents think if the children can get good scores from the very beginning, they will also become excellent people when they grow up. But in reality, many children are weak in studies. It results from lacking of study ability.
3) Do not teach according to the student's ability.
Teaching according to the students’ ability is an excellent education principle. We should teach the children according to their own characteristics. The development of children is different. They may have different interest even different development speed. Some parents do not see the advantages of their own children. They blindly compared their own children with other children. They even use the advantages of other children to stimulate the self-esteem of their own children. Blind comparison will make the children lost the interest for study. #p#分页标题#e#
Running Counter to the Natural Order of Growth for Children
The growth of children follows its own pattern. It is the case with physical, psychological development, so it is with intellectual development. Lacking knowledge about the basic educational theory and the principles for the growth of children, many parents tend to nurture their children with excessive enthusiasm and expectations which result in the result they do not hope to see.
Running counter to the natural order of growth for children is mainly embodied in educating the children in the way adults are educated and in educating the youngsters in the way children are educated. This has caused the children many perplexities during the process of their growth which has blocked the children’s development, although the parents have devoted much energy and time in this respect, but the result strays away from their expectations.
3.2 Encouraging Reform and Free American Traditional Culture
The United States is a relatively young country with only more than 300 years of history. This country possesses new energy and vitality as people from all over the world make up of its population. The Americans lay emphasis on the faith of independence. So it is also an important part of the family education—parents pay attention to the cultivation their children’s independence.
The growing country offers many opportunities for investment. Many individuals get rich through establishing new enterprises. By this, the individualism and capitalism received approval in developing the American economy. The government itself also encourages the individualism which assures the freedom of religious assembly, the freedom of speech and the freedom of the press. Therefore, the United States is a free and individual country in which everyone can pursue his own happiness and goals.
3.2.1 Independent and Individual Education
Americans place emphasis on independent and individual convictions which are also major parts in family education through which parents cultivate their children. They stress that each individual should be out of the ordinary and be unique. This kind of trait is a precious possession which can not be replaced by anything else. Usually, Americans believe that everyone should be independent and self-retrained. They have been imbued with the independent thoughts since the early family education. They are encouraged not to be dependent on anybody including their friends, teachers, parents. When they put forward some distinctive opinions and realize certain aims, they will be praised and approved. They dislike the thought of being dependent on other persons. The modern society in the United States is a perfect fusion of people from all over the world, ideologies and characteristics from all over the world. The most remarkable demonstration is the formulation of strong individual thoughts.
The American independent and individual ideologies are also influenced by its economy. The successful investors gain a lot of wealth as the country offers many opportunists for the growth of the economy. While many newly-emerged small businesses also gain profits despite the risks. Their investment raises the individual profits and makes people determined to strive for more opportunists as long as they believe in themselves. Under the American economy influences, the American independence and individualism receive great recognition. The government itself also confirms the individualism and gives encouragement to it. Each citizen has his own right to speak and vote, he or she can participate in democratic and political activities freely. The United States is an independent and individual country where everyone can pursue his own happiness and goal and they possess the free power to do so.#p#分页标题#e#
In the United States, individualism is of greatest significance. The citizens believe that only an independent life assures them more happiness. As a result, more achievements will be gained if individualism is taken advantage of thorough reforms and progress in the society. The American children’s ability to earn their own living has been cultivated since their early ages. They have the wisdom to adapt to the market economy. The basic orientation of value in the American traditional culture is individualism which places emphasis on the independence, creativity and free development of each person, being responsible for oneself, being not or less suppressed by the society, politics and religion. The core of individualism is mutual benefit and volunteer principal, which means the group is the whole of individuals also the resource for the development of individuals. The American culture underscores the people-oriented conception. According to this principle, the purpose of education is to promote the development of individual’s potentials and creativity while the group should satisfy the legal needs of individuals and respect them. From early childhood, the Americans are encouraged to develop their independence. The family education exists for the better development of the children in their future and provides them with an optimistic, positive and confident environment which is full of creativity. Consequently, the American children are primarily encouraged to develop the independent thinking and free growth since they are very young. They are encouraged to make contacts with all kinds of new staff and improve their personal qualities through practice. In the American parents’ eyes, a child is a person with independent personality; he or she is equal to an adult in this respect. In the evaluation of the family education, the conversations and communication between the parents and their children are totally equal. The individual view of children is paid attention to which will be positively adopted, it makes the final evaluation more in line with the personal development needs of children and be very helpful for the cultivation of the children’s independent personalities. In the United States, the children from some families are part of the management of the household finance at an early age. They learn some skills—i.e. How to communicate with customers and get some selling techniques. This kind of practice let them know that money is hard-earned and cultivates the habit of careful calculation and strict budgeting. Therefore, they have the ability to be adaptive to the social environment independently.
3.2.2 Emphasis on Reform and Change
In the American ideology, reform and change are the guiding direction of the main body. They take a stand against the old ideas and traditional ways. In the family education, parents always create more opportunists for their children to expose them to various circumstances. Each corner is having great changes in a developed country like the United States. To keep pace with the times, parents encourage their children to accept the changes taking place in every respect of life. In this way, children get a right attitude towards the challenges and changes.#p#分页标题#e#
In the United States, most people regard reform and change as a part of their life. Instead of indulging in the history and tradition, they hope for changes and a bright future. They deem that people can realize any dream by working hard. Compared with the other countries, the United States lays more emphasis on reform and change. The Americans have more broad visions. They move one country to another just for some simple reasons like better development and beautiful environment. This advanced faith makes the American children never fear to enter other new fields.
3.2.3 Competitive Encouragement
In the United States, individual efforts are respected, which does not mean modesty alone. Many Americans are respected for possessing the competitive thoughts. When a child is very little, his parents will set him a sense of competition. The kids will know that the result of competition is success through failures. The parents let their children finish the job more effectively in competition. In this way, the children will better like and be grateful for the completion. In the young’s mind, it is competition that makes them become successful.
The American treat almost each respect of their life in a competitive way. Competitive ability is regarded as the most basic asset. They believe that competition will make them excellent in every respect. The competitive spirit will spur the individuals to work harder. When they update their records by competing, they will feel honored. The Americans always cherish their time. They think that a person doing nothing is a person good for nothing.
Ⅳ.The Different Results of Education Modes in China and the United States
The results are obviously different because of the distinctions of rearing and educating children.
American children have been performing strong abilities of independent life since they are little, which is reflected in the following aspects: 1) being pioneer. American parents pay attention to cultivating the independent thinking ability of their children and respect their ideas and personalities, they are positively encouraged and guided to imagine daringly. As a result, American children dare to imagine, doubt and to be pioneer. 2) Being strongly independent. American children have begun to manage the household finance since they are very little. Most of the youngsters over 18 earn money for school education. Some just don’t go to school until they earn enough money. Others take temporary jobs while they study in school or suspend schooling for sometime in which cases; it takes a dozen of years to obtain the doctoral degree. They think it is humiliated to be supported by parents as a grown person and if they do so, they will feel incompetent and despised. So only work make them feel economically independent. 3) Being adaptive to the market economy. Many American children are deeply aware that earning money is difficult as they manage the household finance themselves since they are little kids, it lets them be people with calculating mind. 4) Being adaptive to the social circumstances. Because of the hard training since childhood, American children are more adaptive to the harsh circumstances. They possess courage and willpower to overcome difficulties; they are composed and coolheaded enough to get along with people around them harmoniously; they have confidence and strong nerves to live independently as a member of the society. The learned qualities and skills that lay solid foundations for their existence in the society.#p#分页标题#e#
Quite the contrary, Chinese children, youngsters even college students generally lack the ability to live independently though their examination results are not second to that of the westerners. They have strong dependence and weak decision-making power; they are too passive and coward to adaptive to the circumstances; they have poor personal relationships due to lack of the skills of intercourse; they are afraid of doing hard and exhausting work; they only ask for being taken care of and have no sympathy and ability to help others; they don’t show their respect for the elders inside the family and their responsibility for the society.
Ⅴ.The Enlightenments to Family Education in China
The foundation of the modernization of our country lies in talented people, the foundation of talented persons lies in education, the foundation of education lies in family. The impact of the family education always exists. Therefore, we should be fully aware the importance of the family education and many problems exist in its evaluation system. According to the comparison, two enlightenments can be drawled from it.
First, we should properly recognize the major role in the family education. We should fully realize that child is also an independent individual; consequently, they should also be a part of the evaluation with a major role to play. When evaluating a child, parents should not be in a commanding position. Children are individuals with independent personalities, they have their own world outlook and they view things and do things in their own way. After listening to the children carefully, parents should make decisions together with them. Only in this way the autocracy of the family education won’t be formed and only in this way the evaluation were easier to be accepted by children.
Secondly, respect should be showed for the children while evaluating and equal, democratic and free family atmosphere should be built. The children should be allowed to make contacts with every aspect in life and take part in necessary activities as more as possible. They should walk out of the classrooms, the school and the family to the broader space. We can adopt the method of family meeting applied in the American families which makes appropriate evaluations about children and proposes suggestions and joint future plans. In this way, children are beneficially promoted.
Ⅵ. Conclusion
In the times of knowledge competition in the 21st century, family education plays a major role. We make some comparisons between Chinese and American family education in this thesis. Compared with the American family education, Chinese education has some deficiencies which are not suitable for the modern society, which Chinese parents should accept and the traditional education mode should be changed.
To improve the status and competitive capacity of our country in the international community, we should pay more attention to education which plays a particularly important role. Family education can not be replaced by any other type of education. Children are the constructors of the future world, and their thoughts, behaviors and values are influenced by family education. Parents should educate their children in accordance with their characteristics and individual features of physical and psychological development. The application of different methods to different children assures the positive effects of the evaluation.#p#分页标题#e#
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