中美青少年家庭教育对比
05-25, 2014
I. Introduction
Education is directly related to the rise and fall of a country's future. A successful education is accomplished on the basic of harmonization jointly of family education, school education and social education. Family education is considered as the vital part in the whole education process. It plays an irreplaceable role in all kinds of education.
For the sake of the changing situation, the definition of family education should be extended: “Family education is not only the action of family but concerns the whole society; Family education’s aims are not only studying the family relation and living skills, but also the physiology and psychology of every family member and family members all-round development; Family education is not only the way that parents or elder generation educate the child or teenage in family, but all the family members educate each other; Family education is not only the education of the pre-school education, but also all life education.” (TangMei, 2007: 49-51)
Today almost all countries have to increase investment in education, pay attention to the development of education and promote cultivation of talents and technological innovation.
“The family is the first classroom of one’s life, parents are the first teachers in life, they charged with teaching life skills, instilling social values, training and guidance for individual behavior, contributing to the social responsibility of teenagers.” (HanLi&WangLei, 2009: 130-133)
However, at present, the crime rate of teenagers increases annually. The family violence is serious. Children with psychological problems are in a wide range. The suicides of the students happen successively. All of above illustrate that present family education situation is serious. The family education must be taken seriously. Family is the most important study and living place in a person’s whole life. Every detailed action leaves influence in children’s mind. The parents’ educational influence is the basic. Although the Chinese government and educators pay close attention to the family education, there are still many problems. Now, the problem becomes more and more serious. It is helpful to use the experience of other countries for reference, especially, the experience of American family education. This paper is to compare Chinese Family education with American Family education superficially from similarities and differences, which may offer some lessons to Family education.
II. The Similarities in Family Education between China and America
Differences and similarities between cultures are not unchanging, but in interaction with each other. As the process of globalization speeds up, the conflicts caused by differences will become increasingly apparent, but the increasing inter-cultural common ground will be the general trend. The significance of studying similarities lies in putting the commonness as the basic for understand and communication between China and America. Therefore, this part takes China and America family education as an example to study the similarities from some aspects as follows:#p#分页标题#e#
2.1 Love-oriented Moral Education
Moral value is the spiritual power of human behavior and it is the culture that belongs to all mankind. In fact, the view of moral value is consistent in many different countries, even if they have the different cultures and stories to teach them. In China and the American family, morality has always been the emphasis of family education. China and America ethics arise from different cultural backgrounds, therefore they have different meanings. But "love" and "good" has its common core, but also the embodiment of universal values of human. From the "love", and strive to perform good deeds, from kindness and compassion to get the inner satisfaction and happiness. This is the common morality of China and America, from this point, the two countries built their own moral framework from their own cultural values, interpret the specific meaning of morality. China's morality is based on the doctrine of good human nature of Buddhism and Confucianism and Taoism. The perfect moral integrity is the highest state of a person, but also the main elements of family education. Different from China, the United States bases the moral value on the Christian spirit. The United States emphasizes "freedom, equality," and "Love" is the core moral through the Bible. From this core extend a lot of virtues of American education, such as: Patience, gratitude, compassion, honesty, courage, responsibility, loyalty and so on. American parents often teach their children to be caring and helpful, such as: taking care of animals, sympathizing with the weak, respecting others. From above we can see that the China and American moral values are founded on the basis of religion and love.
2.2 Frugality-oriented Cultivating Education
Frugality is being industrious and frugal, including hard work and thrift. Promoting thrift and preventing extravagance and laziness has always been the traditional virtues of China. Thrifty not only affects the prosperity of a family and a nation, but also closely relates with the morality of a person. The older generations of revolutionaries attach great importance to thrifty, such as: Hui daiying and Zhouenlai and so on. Today, these frugal thinking still has profound significance in a prosperous economy times.
Diligent and frugality always as the prosperous and strong protection of a family and a country. Early American statesman Benjamin Franklin encouraged people to be hard working, thrifty, and honest. This spirit widely disseminated in the United States, it has encouraged the many generations of Americans all the time. It becomes an important part of the American spirit. Today the U.S. economy is already developed very well, but the thrift in educating the children has not been slightest neglected in the United States. Parents develop the concepts of labor and the consciousness of thrift of their children. They nurture their children’s viability and adapt to various environment. In the practice of thrift, the United States done pretty well, when their children are teenagers, the parents let them do housework, laundry, sweeping, washing dishes, etc., even if the domestic economy is also good they will let their r school-age children work to earn money so that they actually to hone their own labor, to develop a good habit of thrift. For example, the U.S. oil magnate Rockefeller had a very strict childhood tutor, he earn pocket money from his father through work. Therefore, he developed good habit: industrious thrifty, hard self-reliance.#p#分页标题#e#
The two countries attach importance to the thrifty in family education, but the approach somewhat different. For example, the American parents ask their children to work and be self-reliance, however, the Chinese parents may not do this. The main reason is the different values that China is a community-based country while the United States an individual-based country.
2.3 The Tendency to the Traditional Education
China and American family education, for different reasons, have gone through the same process: from strict to coddle, then turn to the rigorous. Today, both of them show the same tendency and return to the traditional education.
In ancient times, China belongs to the family-based, so it is not only a personal matter, but also a major event of the whole family to educate their children. But now, due to a variety of reasons the strict family education has lost. For example, because of the family conditions are improved, most of only children are spoiled by their parents, as well as the traditional values to deny completely. They accept the western idea blindly. Because lack of a good family education, led to a new generation of children has many problems: selfishness, fragile heart, self-willed, no sense of morality and so on. China lost the traditional values, while many countries in the world are very interested in China's traditional values. They learn from and absorb the essences of Chinese traditional values. For example, in the United States, The Art of War as required textbooks in some college, Singapore also puts the story of Confucius into texts. China has realized that their own traditional values and began to return to the traditional values.
The same as China, the United States also experienced a similar process. In 1930s, the United States experienced the economic downturn, and people live in poverty and the strict home training. After World War II, economic developed rapidly, family conditions changed for the better, and the anti-tradition and the impact of the liberalization trend, and rising divorce rates, parents want to compensate their children under this environment, children grown up self-centered, selfish, has become spoiled generation of kids. A series of bad social environment are arisen: a number of children becoming out of control and guidance and dropping out of school and home, alcoholism, drug abuse, violence and any other phenomena occur frequently. As a result, the American parents also began to reflect, and they committed to return to the traditional values. The most typical example is the singer Madonna, when she was young, she always break the traditional ideas, indulge herself arbitrarily. Now she has two children, therefore, she began to clear up her act and strict discipline of her children.
The similarities of Chinese family and American family education reflects culture commonality. From individuals to countries, the exchanges between each other are based on commonness, with the mutual understanding we can exchange, can identify differences, and then we can accept, or challenge, or merge, or give up, so as to achieve self-improvement of each other. Commonness should be a conjunction of international cultural communication, seeking common ground while accepting the existing differences is a prerequisite for a successful communication.#p#分页标题#e#
III. The Differences in Family Education between China and America
As is known, the family is the first place for nurturing talent. Actually, the competition of the talent is the competition of family education. So, in many countries, family education is considered as the vital part in the whole education process. China and America are the two representatives of Eastern and Western countries, different cultural and historical cause the different education aims, ways and result.
3.1 Different Aims in Family Education
Either in China or in America, either at the ancient times or at the modern times, family education is always in the most fundamental position. However, their aims are different: Chinese parents lay emphasis on intellectual education, but American parents focus on capability education. For example: a great number of Chinese students have been winning awards in the International Olympic contest every year, but nobody has owned the Nobel Prize. However, America is a country with so many Nobel Prize winners. The reason is that Nobel Prize calls for practical spirit and innovation and innovation ability of winners. Chinese students are in want of such ability.
3.1.1 Intellectual Education in China
Chinese parents have a very different aim of children’s education. Chinese parents focus only on their children's examination capacity. Most of the parents regarded the child's intelligence education as the first one, and even some parents take scores as the sole criterion of whether family education is successful or not. A higher test score not only represent the future of their children, but also their parents face. They pay great attention to their children’s studies because they believe that knowledge can change ones fate.
Therefore, Chinese children are mostly sitting in classrooms, attend-textbooks, carefully studying so hard. And even back home the only thing is learning. They have no free time do what they would like to. The parents often wish to the child: if they get the high points in examination they will be rewarded; if they are admitted to the famous university they also will get reward. But it often didn't turn out as they intended. Some parents in China only care about whether the children have a promising future, a good job, a good life or not. Based on these expectations, the majority of parents feel that their responsibility is to do their best to create conditions for their children so that the children will not worry about anything in the future. In China the most important thing of parents concerning is to develop their children’s intellect. In order to make their children have a good performance in study, or even become a famous person in the future, they would not let children do anything except studying. As for the children’s independence, civic awareness and their ability of adapting to the society in the future, they consider little or not at all.#p#分页标题#e#
3.1.2 Capability Education in America
In America, the aims of family education are to train their children to have the ability of adapting to environmental variety and the ability of living independently. Based on this concept, most American parents emphasize more to train their children’s ability of independence since they have born. They generally believe that children should form a self-supporting will and the capacity to live independently since their childhood. The so-called training contains many aspects, such as work, temper will, patience, the spirit of hard work, etc. However, the most fundamental training is the ability of adapting to hard conditions. Through the process of work, children could form the labor sense, learn some work skills and form a habit of labor. Besides, children can learn how to overcome difficulties, strengthen their mind so as to develop their talents and skills, enrich their knowledge, and form a habit of hard work and thrifty by working in hard conditions. The children will obtain the independent survivability and take the responsibilities for the society in the process of growth unconsciously.
From these aspects people can find the obvious differences of family education between China and America.
3.2 Different Ways in Family Education
Because of a fundamental difference on education aims, there are completely three ways on educating children between China and America.
3.2.1 Differences in the Cultivation of Children’s Independence
Chinese Family education and American Family education vary in the attitude towards independence.
At the end of last century, China introduced the family planning policy, an increasing part of families are the only son, and each of the children is regarded as the beloved daughter of parents. For the above reasons, resulting in many parents tend to over-indulge their children in a surprising way. It is not at all surprising to find that Chinese parents arranged for their children all the things in everyday life, such as: laundry, cooking, bathing, etc. Therefore, many children have no chance to personally experience and contact with society. This directly led to the poor independence of children and they can not deal with their own things in their age. In China, this phenomenon is often seen: the three-year-old children cannot eat by themselves; the six-year-old children cannot wear their own clothes; the primary school students need their parents take them to and from school and to appointment; and even they let their parents help them take bags; many middle school students cannot wash clothes by themselves. In a word, many parents over asylum their children, take care of all things for children and worry about the difficulties that children themselves. Therefore, most of the Chinese children grow up under the umbrella of their parents.
Compared with Chinese parents, American parents hold a very different attitude toward children’s independence. Competition exist in the whole society as well as every home in America. In order to make their children grow up to be able to adapt to a highly competitive society and become the strong, almost every parent does not spoil children, At an early age to cultivate children's ability to survive independently. The Declaration of independence says: “All the people are born equally; they are endowed with holy rights including life, freedom and pursuit of happiness." (Huang Shaoxiang, P12, 1979) Therefore, most American parents believe that children are independent individuals in family so they have their own wishes and ideas. No one can have the right to decide things for them and to restrain their behavior. American children often ruminate over the problem, make decision and deal with problems by themselves. American parents would like to see their children experience all kinds of difficulties rather than the flowers in green house. They attach great importance to exercise the child's mental abilities, so that they can face all kinds of setbacks bravely, and can overcome the difficulties and obstacles by themselves.#p#分页标题#e#
3.2.2 Differences in the Cultivation of Children’s Interests and Creativity
The attitudes on children’s interest are also very different between China and America.
In China, the parents never take into account children's interests, they just according to their own will to determine what children should do and what they should not. They only attach importance to children's learning, because they believe that only knowledge can change the fate of their children. In addition to learning, most of the time have been filled with a variety of after school tutoring, such as: playing piano, drawing, singing, etc., partly because parents wish their children to develop in all-round talent in the future. Therefore, Chinese children have no free time to do what they are interested in. The fact, children may show the least interest in these classes that seem dull and boring in their minds. In this way, children are deprived of the freedom to dip into things they are interested in，so that children lose the ebullience and creativity in studying.
However, in America, family education put emphasis on the nature development of their children and discover their children's interests and potential. Parents would like to create a favorable environment for their children. American parents mainly inspire the children's curiosity and imagination of nature. Knowledge creation comes from curiosity. So, through the fairy tales children can have a large room for imagination and it is benefit to knowledge creation. American parents regards the child's psychological development as the highest point to cultivate children's interest and creativity is the key point of American education. Children are often encouraged to innovate and discover new things. Parent often develop and motivate their children's interests. American parents will not force their children to do what they don’t want to do, it will not stop the kids do what they want to. Parents will encourage children to discover and explore new things, because they realize the child is an independent individual and they should be able to discover and create what they are interested in. Even if the children do something wrong, and parents would not blame them for the mistakes, but let their children be aware of the problems gradually in the process of developing and then correct their faults by themselves.
3.2.3 Differences in the Cultivation of Children’s Psychological Health
Psychologists have pointed out, psychological health plays a vital role in a teenagers’ healthy growth and the shaping of healthy personality. Family education play an important role in the development of a good physical and mental health.
In China, as the saying goes: “The body is the capital of revolution.” A healthy body is a solid foundation of learning and life. Therefore, the physical condition of children became the big concern of parents. In order to exercise their children have good health, many parents are willing to buy sports equipment and clothing, while they do not attach the importance to psychological health. In China, we often emphasize obedience and respects. Parents regard children as their private property and their appendage. They ignore the child's personality construct and the interaction with their children so that young children are in a passive position. When they have some difficulties then would not communicate with their parents actively. The most serious consequence is that children can not face the difficulties by themselves. If things continue like this, they will become depressed with low self-esteem, and even run away from home. The "health" is not only physical, but also in psychological. Therefore, high quality Family education are very important for children’s psychological health.#p#分页标题#e#
However, many American parents’ behaviors are the opposite. In America, Children are respected by their parents, so they like to tell their feelings and thoughts to their parents. Parents pay much attention to cultivate children’s psychological health, individual quality and the emotional communication. And they are often exchange their thoughts with children. The family lays emphasis on the construction and the cultivation of emotion. They will make time to listen to the voices of children, emphasize mind communication and exchange with their children. American children regard their parents as their friends and if they have some troubles, they would like to talk about anything with their parents..
3.3 Different Results of Family Education
Education is a kind of social practice. It is the most important thing in all education. It is said that parents are the best teachers. Different education aims and ways will cause different education results. People can get this from the contrast of the results of Chinese and American family education.
3.3.1 One-sided Talents in China
Chinese children show distinguishing features: high IQ but low EQ. That is because the family education pay more attention to children’s study but ignore the development of any other aspect. Chinese teenagers do well in their study. but have poor capacity for independent living, behave in a passive, be timid lack self-consciousness and the ability to adapt to the environment and do not understand social interaction skills and so on.
Today’s society requires all-round talents. Obviously, American family education can cultivation a child who is full of creativity and capability of independence, on the countrary, Chinese family education only can produce a talent who is only good at studying and obeying the rules. It is the result of examination-center-education of Chinese family education which can do harm to our teenagers’ body and mind. So the Chinese family education needs a reform immediately.
3.3.2 All-round Talents in America
In contrast with the Chinese children, because of the American family pays attention to children's virtue, intelligence, physical conditions, mind status and community service development in an all-around way, the American education result in all-round talents. Firstly, have the pioneering spirit. American parents pay attention to cultivate children's independent thinking, respect the child's ideas and personality, actively encourage and guide to create and explore. Secondly, they have strong self-reliance. American children, from the age of 18, do not rely on their parents, working to support their tuition and living expenses. Thirdly, with the ability to adapt to the social environment, they are not afraid of hardship; they have the perseverance to overcome difficulties, keep clam when they run into troubles, and live in harmony with the surrounding people.
IV. The Causes of the Differences in Family Education between China and America#p#分页标题#e#
Nowadays, not only Chinese parents but also American parents make much account of family education. Under the influence of politics, economy and culture, different countries show different education. The differences of family education between America and China are evolved by different historical backgrounds, social conditions and value orientation.
4.1 Historical Backgrounds
China has history of five thousand years. At the same time China has been limited by a number of traditions and customs. Chinese lack adventurous spirit and sense of innovation, submissive, obedient education was imbued from childhood. Relatively speaking, on the whole, it is a lacking in the environment to accept the new ideas. In particular, the feudal concept has been deeply rooted in Chinese people's mind, so the idea of conservation and self-closing in the majority in China.
On the contrary, the United States is considered as country with a brief history, it's just a nation of immigrants. In the past four centuries, about 50 million people have moved to this country, is the greatest migration movement in human history, then other countries jokingly called it a "melting pot." Because of the diverse culture concepts, people can easily accept new ideas and advanced culture, put them into their own culture. Therefore, they like to explore and discover new thing, they are full of discovery and adventure.
4.2 Social Conditions
China is a developing country with a large number of people, economic conditions are relatively poor, the social old-age security is not perfect, though it has the metropolis like Shanghai, Beijing, Dalian, but there are still many people in poverty. China is a focus on academic society, the survival pressure is very large, people place their life on looking for work. Parents think that good study achievement can bring a good job, pursue a good life. As for education of children, parents consider more about from personal honor, they regard their children as private property and let their children remember the gratitude and try to repay it. Therefore, the family education center is children’s study.
However, the United States is a developed country. They have good economic conditions and perfect social old-age security, advanced productive forces, highly developed commodity economy, so they have more opportunities and less pressure. When get older, they are taken care of in the old folks. The American parents’ obligation is to train the children to become independent persons who have high-quality and compassion when they reach 18. As for the future, it is determined by himself.
4.3 Value Orientation
In China, praised the collective interests rather than personal interests. In Chinese philosophy, the personal values subject to the overall interests. Education regards family interests as the main value orientation. Bring honor to his ancestors is the Chinese pursuit of the target. Personal interests and family interests are the integration. This is closely related with the traditional Chinese culture.#p#分页标题#e#
Americans cherish their own personality, values, individualism, they focus on personal interests, support for personal development and self-awareness, which is the core of American culture. According to this value, the parents tend to divide their children and themselves into two separate parts. The children's self-worth is based on their wishes and interests. Parents and children are equal and respected each other. In the family, the individual is the most basic one that has the highest value, ad they will not rely on others and is independent from family relationships.
V. Suggestions
Child is like a diamond in its original shape, parents are the best craftsmen. Parents not only cut and polish, but also should be good teachers and wise friends on the path of children's growth. Parents are the core of family education, which will directly affect the success of family education. Start from the parents to change the drawbacks and deficiencies that exist in current family education.
5.1 Improving Parents’ Cultural Qualities
With the development of society, modern education has very high requirements in all aspects, especially for the quality of teachers. Therefore, first of all, parents should improve their own moral, cultural, psychological qualities continuously and have some educational capacity. Parents are the first teachers of children, but also a long-term comprehensive teacher. In the process of Children's growth, the original, the most direct imitation object is their parents. Therefore, parents should learn new knowledge continuously, improve their scientific literacy and cultural literacy in order to provide the necessary guidance for their children and to promote the effective implementation of family education.
5.2 Converting Parents’ Conception of Education
The socialist market economy has been permitted in almost every field of our society. As the time changes family education as the main components of social life. Firstly this reform should be a conceptual reform, because the concept is the precursor of behavior, what kind of education would lead to what kind of educational ways. Social development has entered a democratic, equal era, and family education concepts also should keep up with the pace of development of the times. Secondly, parents need to establish a modern educational conception. In the process of family education, they not only pay attention to the child's mental development, but also should focus on all-round and harmonious development, especially the integrative strength and the cultivation of modern conception. Thirdly, in educational methods, parents should abandon condescending attitude and have a democratic, equal communication with children. Parents should respect the child's own choice, but not to indulge children too much and laissez-faire. In addition, in the usual process of education, parents should always pay attention to suit their action to their words and set a good example for children.#p#分页标题#e#
5.3 Combining Family Education with School Education
Family education and school education have the most profound influence in one’s life. Especially in adolescence, which is the critical period to establish the world outlook, outlook on life and values. Family and school constitute almost all of the living space of the young people. If the family education and school education are discordant, even conflict with each other, it will not only affect the physical and mental development of young people, even lead to mental illness, but also seriously affect the quality of school education and teaching. Therefore, parents must keep in touch with the school, family education and school education will be integrated with each other in order to keep up family education and school education in the same level, complement each other's advantages. Parents should make use of the wealth of educational knowledge and resources of school so as to enrich the educational concept. Parents also should actively cooperate with school education to form an educational resultant force of school and family, to promote the healthy development of teenagers.
VI. Conclusion
Family education is the most important part of education in one’s life. It has irreplaceable function to individual health growth and social development. Family system is very different in China and America. Different culture is the root cause of different family education between China and America. In China, people are concerned with the transmission of knowledge. On the contrary, Americans pay attentation to ability.
Only based on a comprehensive study of similarities and differences can people really get the understanding of the different regions and the same cultural phenomenon. China and the United Stated represent the two education systems of Eastern and Western culture. Due to different historical backgrounds, social conditions and value orientations, family education also shows different characteristics between two countries. Family education, as an important component in educational system should lead the common concern of the whole society. It can not be underestimated that family education produces a major impact on one's life. But now certain problems still exist in Chinese family education. Chinese people should learn from the advanced experience of Western countries, take the essence, discard the dregs, and change education concepts. It is the effective way the Chinese can perfect themselves in cultural exchanges with other countries together so as to get the real development and strong cultural vitality.
Bibliography
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Education is directly related to the rise and fall of a country's future. A successful education is accomplished on the basic of harmonization jointly of family education, school education and social education. Family education is considered as the vital part in the whole education process. It plays an irreplaceable role in all kinds of education.
For the sake of the changing situation, the definition of family education should be extended: “Family education is not only the action of family but concerns the whole society; Family education’s aims are not only studying the family relation and living skills, but also the physiology and psychology of every family member and family members all-round development; Family education is not only the way that parents or elder generation educate the child or teenage in family, but all the family members educate each other; Family education is not only the education of the pre-school education, but also all life education.” (TangMei, 2007: 49-51)
Today almost all countries have to increase investment in education, pay attention to the development of education and promote cultivation of talents and technological innovation.
“The family is the first classroom of one’s life, parents are the first teachers in life, they charged with teaching life skills, instilling social values, training and guidance for individual behavior, contributing to the social responsibility of teenagers.” (HanLi&WangLei, 2009: 130-133)
However, at present, the crime rate of teenagers increases annually. The family violence is serious. Children with psychological problems are in a wide range. The suicides of the students happen successively. All of above illustrate that present family education situation is serious. The family education must be taken seriously. Family is the most important study and living place in a person’s whole life. Every detailed action leaves influence in children’s mind. The parents’ educational influence is the basic. Although the Chinese government and educators pay close attention to the family education, there are still many problems. Now, the problem becomes more and more serious. It is helpful to use the experience of other countries for reference, especially, the experience of American family education. This paper is to compare Chinese Family education with American Family education superficially from similarities and differences, which may offer some lessons to Family education.
II. The Similarities in Family Education between China and America
Differences and similarities between cultures are not unchanging, but in interaction with each other. As the process of globalization speeds up, the conflicts caused by differences will become increasingly apparent, but the increasing inter-cultural common ground will be the general trend. The significance of studying similarities lies in putting the commonness as the basic for understand and communication between China and America. Therefore, this part takes China and America family education as an example to study the similarities from some aspects as follows:#p#分页标题#e#
2.1 Love-oriented Moral Education
Moral value is the spiritual power of human behavior and it is the culture that belongs to all mankind. In fact, the view of moral value is consistent in many different countries, even if they have the different cultures and stories to teach them. In China and the American family, morality has always been the emphasis of family education. China and America ethics arise from different cultural backgrounds, therefore they have different meanings. But "love" and "good" has its common core, but also the embodiment of universal values of human. From the "love", and strive to perform good deeds, from kindness and compassion to get the inner satisfaction and happiness. This is the common morality of China and America, from this point, the two countries built their own moral framework from their own cultural values, interpret the specific meaning of morality. China's morality is based on the doctrine of good human nature of Buddhism and Confucianism and Taoism. The perfect moral integrity is the highest state of a person, but also the main elements of family education. Different from China, the United States bases the moral value on the Christian spirit. The United States emphasizes "freedom, equality," and "Love" is the core moral through the Bible. From this core extend a lot of virtues of American education, such as: Patience, gratitude, compassion, honesty, courage, responsibility, loyalty and so on. American parents often teach their children to be caring and helpful, such as: taking care of animals, sympathizing with the weak, respecting others. From above we can see that the China and American moral values are founded on the basis of religion and love.
2.2 Frugality-oriented Cultivating Education
Frugality is being industrious and frugal, including hard work and thrift. Promoting thrift and preventing extravagance and laziness has always been the traditional virtues of China. Thrifty not only affects the prosperity of a family and a nation, but also closely relates with the morality of a person. The older generations of revolutionaries attach great importance to thrifty, such as: Hui daiying and Zhouenlai and so on. Today, these frugal thinking still has profound significance in a prosperous economy times.
Diligent and frugality always as the prosperous and strong protection of a family and a country. Early American statesman Benjamin Franklin encouraged people to be hard working, thrifty, and honest. This spirit widely disseminated in the United States, it has encouraged the many generations of Americans all the time. It becomes an important part of the American spirit. Today the U.S. economy is already developed very well, but the thrift in educating the children has not been slightest neglected in the United States. Parents develop the concepts of labor and the consciousness of thrift of their children. They nurture their children’s viability and adapt to various environment. In the practice of thrift, the United States done pretty well, when their children are teenagers, the parents let them do housework, laundry, sweeping, washing dishes, etc., even if the domestic economy is also good they will let their r school-age children work to earn money so that they actually to hone their own labor, to develop a good habit of thrift. For example, the U.S. oil magnate Rockefeller had a very strict childhood tutor, he earn pocket money from his father through work. Therefore, he developed good habit: industrious thrifty, hard self-reliance.#p#分页标题#e#
The two countries attach importance to the thrifty in family education, but the approach somewhat different. For example, the American parents ask their children to work and be self-reliance, however, the Chinese parents may not do this. The main reason is the different values that China is a community-based country while the United States an individual-based country.
2.3 The Tendency to the Traditional Education
China and American family education, for different reasons, have gone through the same process: from strict to coddle, then turn to the rigorous. Today, both of them show the same tendency and return to the traditional education.
In ancient times, China belongs to the family-based, so it is not only a personal matter, but also a major event of the whole family to educate their children. But now, due to a variety of reasons the strict family education has lost. For example, because of the family conditions are improved, most of only children are spoiled by their parents, as well as the traditional values to deny completely. They accept the western idea blindly. Because lack of a good family education, led to a new generation of children has many problems: selfishness, fragile heart, self-willed, no sense of morality and so on. China lost the traditional values, while many countries in the world are very interested in China's traditional values. They learn from and absorb the essences of Chinese traditional values. For example, in the United States, The Art of War as required textbooks in some college, Singapore also puts the story of Confucius into texts. China has realized that their own traditional values and began to return to the traditional values.
The same as China, the United States also experienced a similar process. In 1930s, the United States experienced the economic downturn, and people live in poverty and the strict home training. After World War II, economic developed rapidly, family conditions changed for the better, and the anti-tradition and the impact of the liberalization trend, and rising divorce rates, parents want to compensate their children under this environment, children grown up self-centered, selfish, has become spoiled generation of kids. A series of bad social environment are arisen: a number of children becoming out of control and guidance and dropping out of school and home, alcoholism, drug abuse, violence and any other phenomena occur frequently. As a result, the American parents also began to reflect, and they committed to return to the traditional values. The most typical example is the singer Madonna, when she was young, she always break the traditional ideas, indulge herself arbitrarily. Now she has two children, therefore, she began to clear up her act and strict discipline of her children.
The similarities of Chinese family and American family education reflects culture commonality. From individuals to countries, the exchanges between each other are based on commonness, with the mutual understanding we can exchange, can identify differences, and then we can accept, or challenge, or merge, or give up, so as to achieve self-improvement of each other. Commonness should be a conjunction of international cultural communication, seeking common ground while accepting the existing differences is a prerequisite for a successful communication.#p#分页标题#e#
III. The Differences in Family Education between China and America
As is known, the family is the first place for nurturing talent. Actually, the competition of the talent is the competition of family education. So, in many countries, family education is considered as the vital part in the whole education process. China and America are the two representatives of Eastern and Western countries, different cultural and historical cause the different education aims, ways and result.
3.1 Different Aims in Family Education
Either in China or in America, either at the ancient times or at the modern times, family education is always in the most fundamental position. However, their aims are different: Chinese parents lay emphasis on intellectual education, but American parents focus on capability education. For example: a great number of Chinese students have been winning awards in the International Olympic contest every year, but nobody has owned the Nobel Prize. However, America is a country with so many Nobel Prize winners. The reason is that Nobel Prize calls for practical spirit and innovation and innovation ability of winners. Chinese students are in want of such ability.
3.1.1 Intellectual Education in China
Chinese parents have a very different aim of children’s education. Chinese parents focus only on their children's examination capacity. Most of the parents regarded the child's intelligence education as the first one, and even some parents take scores as the sole criterion of whether family education is successful or not. A higher test score not only represent the future of their children, but also their parents face. They pay great attention to their children’s studies because they believe that knowledge can change ones fate.
Therefore, Chinese children are mostly sitting in classrooms, attend-textbooks, carefully studying so hard. And even back home the only thing is learning. They have no free time do what they would like to. The parents often wish to the child: if they get the high points in examination they will be rewarded; if they are admitted to the famous university they also will get reward. But it often didn't turn out as they intended. Some parents in China only care about whether the children have a promising future, a good job, a good life or not. Based on these expectations, the majority of parents feel that their responsibility is to do their best to create conditions for their children so that the children will not worry about anything in the future. In China the most important thing of parents concerning is to develop their children’s intellect. In order to make their children have a good performance in study, or even become a famous person in the future, they would not let children do anything except studying. As for the children’s independence, civic awareness and their ability of adapting to the society in the future, they consider little or not at all.#p#分页标题#e#
3.1.2 Capability Education in America
In America, the aims of family education are to train their children to have the ability of adapting to environmental variety and the ability of living independently. Based on this concept, most American parents emphasize more to train their children’s ability of independence since they have born. They generally believe that children should form a self-supporting will and the capacity to live independently since their childhood. The so-called training contains many aspects, such as work, temper will, patience, the spirit of hard work, etc. However, the most fundamental training is the ability of adapting to hard conditions. Through the process of work, children could form the labor sense, learn some work skills and form a habit of labor. Besides, children can learn how to overcome difficulties, strengthen their mind so as to develop their talents and skills, enrich their knowledge, and form a habit of hard work and thrifty by working in hard conditions. The children will obtain the independent survivability and take the responsibilities for the society in the process of growth unconsciously.
From these aspects people can find the obvious differences of family education between China and America.
3.2 Different Ways in Family Education
Because of a fundamental difference on education aims, there are completely three ways on educating children between China and America.
3.2.1 Differences in the Cultivation of Children’s Independence
Chinese Family education and American Family education vary in the attitude towards independence.
At the end of last century, China introduced the family planning policy, an increasing part of families are the only son, and each of the children is regarded as the beloved daughter of parents. For the above reasons, resulting in many parents tend to over-indulge their children in a surprising way. It is not at all surprising to find that Chinese parents arranged for their children all the things in everyday life, such as: laundry, cooking, bathing, etc. Therefore, many children have no chance to personally experience and contact with society. This directly led to the poor independence of children and they can not deal with their own things in their age. In China, this phenomenon is often seen: the three-year-old children cannot eat by themselves; the six-year-old children cannot wear their own clothes; the primary school students need their parents take them to and from school and to appointment; and even they let their parents help them take bags; many middle school students cannot wash clothes by themselves. In a word, many parents over asylum their children, take care of all things for children and worry about the difficulties that children themselves. Therefore, most of the Chinese children grow up under the umbrella of their parents.
Compared with Chinese parents, American parents hold a very different attitude toward children’s independence. Competition exist in the whole society as well as every home in America. In order to make their children grow up to be able to adapt to a highly competitive society and become the strong, almost every parent does not spoil children, At an early age to cultivate children's ability to survive independently. The Declaration of independence says: “All the people are born equally; they are endowed with holy rights including life, freedom and pursuit of happiness." (Huang Shaoxiang, P12, 1979) Therefore, most American parents believe that children are independent individuals in family so they have their own wishes and ideas. No one can have the right to decide things for them and to restrain their behavior. American children often ruminate over the problem, make decision and deal with problems by themselves. American parents would like to see their children experience all kinds of difficulties rather than the flowers in green house. They attach great importance to exercise the child's mental abilities, so that they can face all kinds of setbacks bravely, and can overcome the difficulties and obstacles by themselves.#p#分页标题#e#
3.2.2 Differences in the Cultivation of Children’s Interests and Creativity
The attitudes on children’s interest are also very different between China and America.
In China, the parents never take into account children's interests, they just according to their own will to determine what children should do and what they should not. They only attach importance to children's learning, because they believe that only knowledge can change the fate of their children. In addition to learning, most of the time have been filled with a variety of after school tutoring, such as: playing piano, drawing, singing, etc., partly because parents wish their children to develop in all-round talent in the future. Therefore, Chinese children have no free time to do what they are interested in. The fact, children may show the least interest in these classes that seem dull and boring in their minds. In this way, children are deprived of the freedom to dip into things they are interested in，so that children lose the ebullience and creativity in studying.
However, in America, family education put emphasis on the nature development of their children and discover their children's interests and potential. Parents would like to create a favorable environment for their children. American parents mainly inspire the children's curiosity and imagination of nature. Knowledge creation comes from curiosity. So, through the fairy tales children can have a large room for imagination and it is benefit to knowledge creation. American parents regards the child's psychological development as the highest point to cultivate children's interest and creativity is the key point of American education. Children are often encouraged to innovate and discover new things. Parent often develop and motivate their children's interests. American parents will not force their children to do what they don’t want to do, it will not stop the kids do what they want to. Parents will encourage children to discover and explore new things, because they realize the child is an independent individual and they should be able to discover and create what they are interested in. Even if the children do something wrong, and parents would not blame them for the mistakes, but let their children be aware of the problems gradually in the process of developing and then correct their faults by themselves.
3.2.3 Differences in the Cultivation of Children’s Psychological Health
Psychologists have pointed out, psychological health plays a vital role in a teenagers’ healthy growth and the shaping of healthy personality. Family education play an important role in the development of a good physical and mental health.
In China, as the saying goes: “The body is the capital of revolution.” A healthy body is a solid foundation of learning and life. Therefore, the physical condition of children became the big concern of parents. In order to exercise their children have good health, many parents are willing to buy sports equipment and clothing, while they do not attach the importance to psychological health. In China, we often emphasize obedience and respects. Parents regard children as their private property and their appendage. They ignore the child's personality construct and the interaction with their children so that young children are in a passive position. When they have some difficulties then would not communicate with their parents actively. The most serious consequence is that children can not face the difficulties by themselves. If things continue like this, they will become depressed with low self-esteem, and even run away from home. The "health" is not only physical, but also in psychological. Therefore, high quality Family education are very important for children’s psychological health.#p#分页标题#e#
However, many American parents’ behaviors are the opposite. In America, Children are respected by their parents, so they like to tell their feelings and thoughts to their parents. Parents pay much attention to cultivate children’s psychological health, individual quality and the emotional communication. And they are often exchange their thoughts with children. The family lays emphasis on the construction and the cultivation of emotion. They will make time to listen to the voices of children, emphasize mind communication and exchange with their children. American children regard their parents as their friends and if they have some troubles, they would like to talk about anything with their parents..
3.3 Different Results of Family Education
Education is a kind of social practice. It is the most important thing in all education. It is said that parents are the best teachers. Different education aims and ways will cause different education results. People can get this from the contrast of the results of Chinese and American family education.
3.3.1 One-sided Talents in China
Chinese children show distinguishing features: high IQ but low EQ. That is because the family education pay more attention to children’s study but ignore the development of any other aspect. Chinese teenagers do well in their study. but have poor capacity for independent living, behave in a passive, be timid lack self-consciousness and the ability to adapt to the environment and do not understand social interaction skills and so on.
Today’s society requires all-round talents. Obviously, American family education can cultivation a child who is full of creativity and capability of independence, on the countrary, Chinese family education only can produce a talent who is only good at studying and obeying the rules. It is the result of examination-center-education of Chinese family education which can do harm to our teenagers’ body and mind. So the Chinese family education needs a reform immediately.
3.3.2 All-round Talents in America
In contrast with the Chinese children, because of the American family pays attention to children's virtue, intelligence, physical conditions, mind status and community service development in an all-around way, the American education result in all-round talents. Firstly, have the pioneering spirit. American parents pay attention to cultivate children's independent thinking, respect the child's ideas and personality, actively encourage and guide to create and explore. Secondly, they have strong self-reliance. American children, from the age of 18, do not rely on their parents, working to support their tuition and living expenses. Thirdly, with the ability to adapt to the social environment, they are not afraid of hardship; they have the perseverance to overcome difficulties, keep clam when they run into troubles, and live in harmony with the surrounding people.
IV. The Causes of the Differences in Family Education between China and America#p#分页标题#e#
Nowadays, not only Chinese parents but also American parents make much account of family education. Under the influence of politics, economy and culture, different countries show different education. The differences of family education between America and China are evolved by different historical backgrounds, social conditions and value orientation.
4.1 Historical Backgrounds
China has history of five thousand years. At the same time China has been limited by a number of traditions and customs. Chinese lack adventurous spirit and sense of innovation, submissive, obedient education was imbued from childhood. Relatively speaking, on the whole, it is a lacking in the environment to accept the new ideas. In particular, the feudal concept has been deeply rooted in Chinese people's mind, so the idea of conservation and self-closing in the majority in China.
On the contrary, the United States is considered as country with a brief history, it's just a nation of immigrants. In the past four centuries, about 50 million people have moved to this country, is the greatest migration movement in human history, then other countries jokingly called it a "melting pot." Because of the diverse culture concepts, people can easily accept new ideas and advanced culture, put them into their own culture. Therefore, they like to explore and discover new thing, they are full of discovery and adventure.
4.2 Social Conditions
China is a developing country with a large number of people, economic conditions are relatively poor, the social old-age security is not perfect, though it has the metropolis like Shanghai, Beijing, Dalian, but there are still many people in poverty. China is a focus on academic society, the survival pressure is very large, people place their life on looking for work. Parents think that good study achievement can bring a good job, pursue a good life. As for education of children, parents consider more about from personal honor, they regard their children as private property and let their children remember the gratitude and try to repay it. Therefore, the family education center is children’s study.
However, the United States is a developed country. They have good economic conditions and perfect social old-age security, advanced productive forces, highly developed commodity economy, so they have more opportunities and less pressure. When get older, they are taken care of in the old folks. The American parents’ obligation is to train the children to become independent persons who have high-quality and compassion when they reach 18. As for the future, it is determined by himself.
4.3 Value Orientation
In China, praised the collective interests rather than personal interests. In Chinese philosophy, the personal values subject to the overall interests. Education regards family interests as the main value orientation. Bring honor to his ancestors is the Chinese pursuit of the target. Personal interests and family interests are the integration. This is closely related with the traditional Chinese culture.#p#分页标题#e#
Americans cherish their own personality, values, individualism, they focus on personal interests, support for personal development and self-awareness, which is the core of American culture. According to this value, the parents tend to divide their children and themselves into two separate parts. The children's self-worth is based on their wishes and interests. Parents and children are equal and respected each other. In the family, the individual is the most basic one that has the highest value, ad they will not rely on others and is independent from family relationships.
V. Suggestions
Child is like a diamond in its original shape, parents are the best craftsmen. Parents not only cut and polish, but also should be good teachers and wise friends on the path of children's growth. Parents are the core of family education, which will directly affect the success of family education. Start from the parents to change the drawbacks and deficiencies that exist in current family education.
5.1 Improving Parents’ Cultural Qualities
With the development of society, modern education has very high requirements in all aspects, especially for the quality of teachers. Therefore, first of all, parents should improve their own moral, cultural, psychological qualities continuously and have some educational capacity. Parents are the first teachers of children, but also a long-term comprehensive teacher. In the process of Children's growth, the original, the most direct imitation object is their parents. Therefore, parents should learn new knowledge continuously, improve their scientific literacy and cultural literacy in order to provide the necessary guidance for their children and to promote the effective implementation of family education.
5.2 Converting Parents’ Conception of Education
The socialist market economy has been permitted in almost every field of our society. As the time changes family education as the main components of social life. Firstly this reform should be a conceptual reform, because the concept is the precursor of behavior, what kind of education would lead to what kind of educational ways. Social development has entered a democratic, equal era, and family education concepts also should keep up with the pace of development of the times. Secondly, parents need to establish a modern educational conception. In the process of family education, they not only pay attention to the child's mental development, but also should focus on all-round and harmonious development, especially the integrative strength and the cultivation of modern conception. Thirdly, in educational methods, parents should abandon condescending attitude and have a democratic, equal communication with children. Parents should respect the child's own choice, but not to indulge children too much and laissez-faire. In addition, in the usual process of education, parents should always pay attention to suit their action to their words and set a good example for children.#p#分页标题#e#
5.3 Combining Family Education with School Education
Family education and school education have the most profound influence in one’s life. Especially in adolescence, which is the critical period to establish the world outlook, outlook on life and values. Family and school constitute almost all of the living space of the young people. If the family education and school education are discordant, even conflict with each other, it will not only affect the physical and mental development of young people, even lead to mental illness, but also seriously affect the quality of school education and teaching. Therefore, parents must keep in touch with the school, family education and school education will be integrated with each other in order to keep up family education and school education in the same level, complement each other's advantages. Parents should make use of the wealth of educational knowledge and resources of school so as to enrich the educational concept. Parents also should actively cooperate with school education to form an educational resultant force of school and family, to promote the healthy development of teenagers.
VI. Conclusion
Family education is the most important part of education in one’s life. It has irreplaceable function to individual health growth and social development. Family system is very different in China and America. Different culture is the root cause of different family education between China and America. In China, people are concerned with the transmission of knowledge. On the contrary, Americans pay attentation to ability.
Only based on a comprehensive study of similarities and differences can people really get the understanding of the different regions and the same cultural phenomenon. China and the United Stated represent the two education systems of Eastern and Western culture. Due to different historical backgrounds, social conditions and value orientations, family education also shows different characteristics between two countries. Family education, as an important component in educational system should lead the common concern of the whole society. It can not be underestimated that family education produces a major impact on one's life. But now certain problems still exist in Chinese family education. Chinese people should learn from the advanced experience of Western countries, take the essence, discard the dregs, and change education concepts. It is the effective way the Chinese can perfect themselves in cultural exchanges with other countries together so as to get the real development and strong cultural vitality.
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